Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Barry Schwartz on our loss of wisdom on TED.com
Barry Schwartz: “And, perhaps most important, as teachers, we should strive to be the ordinary heroes, the moral exemplars, to the people we mentor. And there are a few things that we have to remember as teachers.
- One is that we are always teaching. Someone is always watching. The camera is always on.
- [...]they have come to the realization that the single most important thing kids need to learn is character.
- They need to learn to respect themselves.
- They need to learn to respect their schoolmates.
- They need to learn to respect their teachers. And, most important,
- they need to learn to respect learning.
That’s the principle objective. If you do that, the rest is just pretty much a coast downhill.
And the teachers: the way you teach these things to the kids is by having the teachers and all the other staff embody it every minute of every day. “
Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live with Their Moms?
“This chapter offers a detailed glimpse into the economics of a drug-dealing street gang. The authors follow the research efforts of sociologist Sudhir Venkatesh, whose years conducting field studies in the housing projects of Chicago granted him unprecedented access to the inner workings of the gang. Venkatesh befriended many of his research subjects, one of whom gave him several years of financial records kept by the gang, which Venkatesh later provided to Levitt.
With extensive analysis of the data, Levitt was able to debunk the common perception that crack dealers are all very wealthy individuals. He found that although a few participants profit mightily from their involvement, these are usually the higher-ups who lead the organization, rather than the large numbers of street dealers who form the lower ranks of the group. Levitt compares the organizational structure of the gang to McDonalds, in which a comparatively few executives and managers prosper from the labor of thousands of low-wage workers. This comparison proved to be particularly apt when he found that most street dealers made less than minimum wage, while also bearing a 1-in-4 risk of death.” (from wikisummaries.org, Freakonomics entry)
Well, it seems like even a thief needs to do some competent work in order to achieve success, dear Watson… :)
Jumping over my shadow
Paul Watzlawick about paradox – profound, readable, entertaining, educational, soul healing. Here’s a sample from Oxymoronica, a collection by Marty Grothe (via Cool Tools):
The superfluous is the most necessary.
Voltaire
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Margaret Mead
I shut my eyes in order to see.
Paul Gauguin
We learn from history that we do not learn from history.
Georg Hegel
We are never prepared for what we expect.
James Michener
To be believed, make the truth unbelievable.
Napoleon Bonaparte
The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.
Maurice Chapelain
What we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.
Sydney J. Harris
When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.
Henry David Thoreau
Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.
Harry S. Truman
Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable.
Oscar Wilde
War is a series of catastrophes which result in a victory.
Georges Clemenceau
First I dream my painting, then I paint my dream.
Vincent van Gogh
We are confronted by insurmountable opportunities.
Walt Kelly, From Pogo
A man chases a woman until she catches him.
Anonymous
I want peace and I’m willing to fight for it.
Harry S. Truman
Study the past, if you would divine the future.
Confucius, in Analects
Love is a kind of warfare.
Ovid
All works of art should begin…at the end.
Edgar Allan Poe
Again, I can’t recommend enough Paul Watzlawick’s books for a fresh air of sanity and delivery from such apparent, but perverse wild & domestic stuff.

It is said that your salary is usually equal to the average the salaries of your 10 closest friends
In the 6-degrees-of-separation numerical spirit:
productivity501.com: “It is said that your salary is usually equal to the average the salaries of your 10 closest friends. This is a good general rule for everything–not just finances. The capabilities of our friends average together to create a social glass ceiling. Even if you work hard and break through the ceiling, it will still exert constraints on your progress. If you want to truly push the limits of your potential, the people with whom you interact must be people who significantly challenge you in the areas where you want to excel.”
Don’t know how true it is, but I find the concept very interesting.
Soon half of the richest people in UK will be women
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Most of them, by divorce. Inheritance, OK. By divorce, IMO, =resounding theft. What, she needs a gazzilion million pounds to rise the kids? Or because she LET him make sex with her? For loling out loud! :)
I’m afraid the sex war turned from creative and spicy tension to bitter planetary guerrilla.
The laws are overwhelmingly in their favor, not because society is more mature, but because women lobbyed and weighted themselves more and more power. They evolved, and here’s why:
Women recognize, discuss and share their fears and concerns, and they also share information and solutions. Men don’t. And this messes them up. Really bad. Personally and socially.
If men don’t acknowledge and learn from the women’s intelligence and power, then even more trouble awaits them.
See also:
Catherine Zeta Jones divorces George Clooney – Intolerable Cruelty
Recognizing a weakness can lead you to real power
Recognizing a weakness can lead you to real power
“The greatest strenght of women is their appearance of weakness. The greatest weakness of men is their appeareance of strenght.“
Women recognize, discuss and share their fears and concerns, and they also share information and solutions. Men don’t. And this messes them up. Really bad. Personally and socially.
Recognizing a weakness leads you to real power, but staying in denial could eat you away.
VulnerAbility
| So I think most men deny their vulnerability, and do nothing about it. Posing in the tough hero role (for fear of not being selected by women). And suffer the consequences. |
And many women recognize their vulnerability, and still do nothing about it. They bask in the victim role. And blame the men. Or the world. |
ResponsAbility
See also:
Soon half of the richest people from UK will be women
Catherine Zeta Jones divorces George Clooney – Intolerable Cruelty

