Flowingly

Philip Zimbardo: “Now lets tempt four-year-olds, giving them a treat. They can have one marshmallow now. But if they wait until the experimenter comes back, they can have two. Of course it pays, if you like marshmallows, to wait. What happens is 2/3rds of the kids give in to temptation. They cannot wait. The others, of course, wait. They resist the temptation. They delay the now for later.

Walter Mischel, my colleague at Stanford, went back 14 years later, to try to discover
what was different about those kids.
There were enormous differences between kids who resisted and kids who yielded, in many ways. The kids who resisted scored 250 points higher on the SAT. That’s enormous. That’s like a whole set of different IQ points. They didn’t get in as much trouble. They were better students. They were self-confident and determined. And the key for me today, the key for you, is they were future-focused instead of present-focused.
…

So, very quickly, what is the optimal time profile?

• High on past-positive.
• Moderately high on future.
• And moderate on present-hedonism.
• And always low on past-negative and present-fatalism.

So the optimal temporal mix is

• what you get from the past – past-positive give you roots. You connect your family, identity and your self.
• What you get from the future is wings to soar to new destinations, new challenges.
• What you get from the present hedonism is the energy, the energy to explore yourself, places, people, sensuality.”

Book-a-minute on steroids, that’s how I think about this study.

In other words, read it and you’ll be more of a connoisseur (ahem :)

Here’s a glimpse:

1. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted

disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS)

2. Someone offered me money to do it

3. I wanted to get a raise

4. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization

5. I wanted to get a job

6. I wanted to get a promotion

7. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it

8. I wanted to punish myself

9. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person

10. I wanted to feel closer to God

11. I wanted to breakup my relationship

12. I wanted to breakup another’s relationship

13. I wanted to be used or degraded

14. I wanted to gain access to that person’s friend

15. I wanted to get a favor from someone

16. I wanted to enhance my reputation

17. It would get me gifts

18. I wanted to make money

19. I wanted to hurt an enemy

20. Because of a bet

21. It was a favor to someone

22. I wanted to end the relationship

For more like the above, you can download the pdf from here.

Most of them, by divorce. Inheritance, OK. By divorce, IMO, =resounding theft. What, she needs a gazzilion million pounds to rise the kids? Or because she LET him make sex with her? For loling out loud! :)

I’m afraid the sex war turned from creative and spicy tension to bitter planetary guerrilla.

The laws are overwhelmingly in their favor, not because society is more mature, but because women lobbyed and weighted themselves more and more power. They evolved, and here’s why:

Women recognize, discuss and share their fears and concerns, and they also share information and solutions. Men don’t. And this messes them up. Really bad. Personally and socially.

If men don’t acknowledge and learn from the women’s intelligence and power, then even more trouble awaits them.

See also:

Catherine Zeta Jones divorces George Clooney – Intolerable Cruelty
Recognizing a weakness can lead you to real power

“The greatest strenght of women is their appearance of weakness. The greatest weakness of men is their appeareance of strenght.“

Women recognize, discuss and share their fears and concerns, and they also share information and solutions. Men don’t. And this messes them up. Really bad. Personally and socially.

Recognizing a weakness leads you to real power, but staying in denial could eat you away.

VulnerAbility

ResponsAbility

See also:

Soon half of the richest people from UK will be women
Catherine Zeta Jones divorces George Clooney – Intolerable Cruelty